Posts Tagged ‘adult video’

Adult Video On Demand Thwarts Assault

Monday, November 23rd, 2009

(Note: The names of the people involved in this story have been changed in order to protect their privacy.) Everybody has had to deal with an overprotective brother when trying to date a girl. Twenty three year old Jeremy barely survived an epic ass kicking from the borderline insane sibling of the girl he loves. He would have been lying in a hospital now, in a coma, had it not been for some adult video on demand.

Jeremy met Clarisse in school that semester, and they got along perfectly. Jeremy knew that there was no other person in the world for him, and he worked up the courage to ask her out on a date. Jeremy, unfortunately, was one of the rare people who knew why Clarisse, an attractive and smart twenty two year old girl had remained single all her life. Her brother Beau, a huge guy with a very short fuse, had driven away any boy who has ever dared to ask Clarisse out, sometimes in a violent fashion. Jeremy nearly found that fact out first hand, had it not been for a very familiar common interest.

Beau it turned out was a very big fan of adult websites and frequented them as often as possible. Though he never really could afford membership and his parents, what with their iron clad morals, would disown him if they discovered that their baby boy had discovered such worldly pursuits. Jeremy, on the other hand, was not a big fan of these adult websites, but he was a huge computer whiz.

Upon learning of his supposed significant other’s rather porn inclined sibling, Jeremy decided to spring into action. He was cracking codes and downloading passwords and doing what hackers do best. While Jeremy was totally against such a course of action, for him, there seemed to be no other option left. The moment was at hand.

He knocked on his lady love’s door, and surely enough, Beau opened and stood by the doorway, fists clenched and ready to rumble. With a shaking hand, he gave the ape like brother a piece of paper, containing usernames and passwords to tall his favorite porn sites. Beau’s face lit up like a Christmas tree.

It’s been several months now, and Beau and Jeremy had gotten to be good friends, and Jeremy’s relationship with Clarisse is heading into the right direction. The moral of the story, you ask? Never underestimate the uniting powers of porn.

Found Vintage Adult Videos Up for Grabs!

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

A few months ago, a wealthy resident from Beverly Hills made some rather unwise investments around the time the stock market crashed. The result of which was a repossession of all his earthly belongings. The resident, who will remain anonymous for propriety’s sake, was unable to reclaim his property as his last ditch attempt to score big with other investments failed. Because of this, everything he owned is now currently up for auction.

Now, this tale is a fairly common one especially during such a sad time in global economy. What makes this story interesting is the resident himself, who along with his other stuff, lost a very valuable collection.

It turns out the man is somewhat of a connoisseur of adult videos. His collection of classic and hard to find cult favorite porn titles is so vast that the bank is holding a very special auction for these movies. These films come in a variety of formats, from 16 and 8 mm reels to betamax, VHS tapes, and several laser disc copies.

The selection includes classics like the first release of Debbie Does Dallas and other classic porn, as well as first appearances of famous porn stars like Tera Patrick, Peter North, Jesse Jane, Tracy Lords, Ron Jeremy and many other legends in the industry.

The collection also spans the globe as well as genres. He has the best porn from every country and every niche ever made. This treasure chest of smut features everything from hardcore, softcore, all the way to gay porn and bondage.

The true gems of this impressive collection are the 8 mm and 16 mm tape reels that feature truly vintage adult films that were made in the 60s and earlier. When asked to comment about his collection, the resident seemed forlorn about losing a library that he had worked so hard to assemble. “People would call me a pervert just because I collect these” he said. “I just find it very amusing, and worth collecting. I’ve often been fascinated by porn, and I think of porn as a reflection of society, or the society it was forged from.”

“Watch the really old ones, you’d see girls parading around in their granny panties. Watch the Japanese porn tapes I have, and see how different their porn is compared to their Western counterparts. Porn is not just for perverse purpose.”

It is reported that a portion of the proceeds from the auction will go to the Foundation Against Sex Addicts.

You Porn and Zombies: A Movie Franchise Made In Hell

Tuesday, October 27th, 2009

In the tradition of Zombie Strippers, a new zombie movie franchise is in the works, thanks largely to the popular adult video streaming site you porn. Currently under the working title of “You Brain”, the film project is the first of a trilogy of movies to feature the undead. How does this movie franchise differ from the tons of zombie movies that have come out since George Romero tackled the subject? The concept of the movie is basically shown from the zombie’s, or would be zombie, point of view.

The story revolves around an emo blogger who’s fond of creating video blogs for his site. While uploading one installment of his video series, his home gets invaded by a rogue member of the undead. The teen manages to kill the zombie, but is bitten in the process. The movie then shows his slow metamorphosis into a zombie. The entire movie will be shot with a webcam and will be presented like a series of video blogs.

The screenplay was written by a young film student named Paul Luis, who claims the idea hit him while he was watching webcam video of a young couple making love in the porn streaming site. When asked why he chose to write an emo character as the protagonist, Luis’ reply was short and very enthusiastic: “Because those guy suck.”

What began as a leisurely and rather therapeutic side project for Luis, this screenplay raised the interest of independent filmmakers who are still obsessed with reviving the 80s style campy, B-movie horror flicks. The project itself is still undergoing pre-production, and the crew are looking for aspiring actors to play the lead.

“I don’t think a well known face would make the film as effective as it could potentially be. Casting relatively unknown actors have worked well in previous horror movies, like The Blair Witch Project and Cannibal Holocaust.”

When asked about how the movie would extend into three parts when the protagonist is, from the premise itself, dying, Luis had a quick and ready reply. “Hey, the Spawn comic book is about a character who’s also dying. Or least a guy who came back from hell with a limited amount of time on earth, and yet they managed to extend the series far beyond acceptable premises. If McFarlane could jerk around like that, why can’t I?”

You Brain should be in a video store bargain bin near you soon enough.

Lovers Brought Together by Adult Sex Videos

Saturday, October 24th, 2009

Despite what the movies might imply, not all romances are like those Meg Ryan movies, where things start out with exchanges of witty banter and then before you know it… wedding bells. Meet Michael and Rachel, two lovers brought together by fate and their common love for adult sex videos.

The romance started out in college. They did not know each other then, nor did they have any points of tangency when it came to their respective circle of friends. The only thing they had in common was a small video shop where both frequently rented movies. Both had been very loyal customers of the said video store for years, but their paths had not crossed until one Sunday morning. Both were recovering from a hangover from two different parties and they needed the sobering effects that only porn can bring. They both waited outside the closed doors of the store, pointedly ignoring each other. The clerk from the video store had a reputation for being late, and neither of the two seemed to be bothered nor surprised when he showed up forty minutes later with an arrogant smirk.

The two would be lovers did the usual song and dance most people renting porn do. They wandered around the video store for a few minutes, looking at random videos trying their best to pretend to be interested in anything but porn. After circling the store a couple of times, they ended up in the adult video aisle. Unbeknowst to each other, both their eyes were fixed on a single video on the rack, a Star trek inspired BDSM video. Both reached for the video, and like any cheesy romantic comedy movie, they picked the single video at the same time. Their eyes locked, and the rest was history.

After a few years of dating, they have decided to get married and now, by January of 2010, they’ll be opening up their own adult video shop. Rachel claims she’s the happiest woman on Earth. “It’s really great to find someone who shares a particular interest with you, enough so to actually pursue it as a source of livelihood. Don’t get me wrong, our relationship does not revolve around porn, but it did bring us together in some weird way. Kinda sweet.”

Michael concurs. “I think our relationship blossomed because of that first meeting. I mean, after a girl catches you renting porn and doesn’t mind, it kinda negates a lot of the awkward stuff normal couples have to go through. “

The two still watch the same porn video every anniversary.

Adult Video On Demand Is Your Best Option To Enjoy Porn.

Friday, October 2nd, 2009

Choosing porn in your nearest smut shop can really be such a pain. In most cases, you feel that you didn’t get your money’s worth after watching that movie you rented. In the end, you waste your effort and money.

Another situation you may be in is when you are too shy to rent out an adult movie by yourself, fearing someone might find out. Sure you can order a DVD and have it shipped to your home. But what if someone gets hold of the package before you do? There’s nothing more painful than having your Mom asking you why you bought “Chicks With Dicks” on your father’s credit card?

Enter adult video on demand. Video on demand or VOD follows the business model similar to your local video rental shop and pay-per-view, only through the Internet. This type of media delivery was made in order to adapt to the changing times, taking advantage of high-speed Internet access capable of delivering high-quality media such as videos easily and quickly.

Adult VOD has a lot of advantages to offer. If you look at it, there is almost no disadvantage. Firstly, you shop online and choose which titles you want to watch at the comfort of your den. No more hauling butt to the rental shop. Transactions are also anonymous. Nobody sees your face, so you do not have to worry about bumping into a friend or an acquaintance while renting an adult movie.

Secondly, you get almost instant gratification. It doesn’t take too much time before you can enjoy your adult movie. Thanks to broadband Internet, it only takes a few minutes to download or stream a full-length movie. So right after you pay, all you have to do is wait a while for the download to finish.

The best part of adult VOD movies is that you spend less. Why? Because watching through the Internet has less costs. Costs for creating the disc, the packaging, and the shipping charges inflate the prices of such movies. If you are a frequent adult movie watcher, you will not be putting a significant dent in your savings or allowance.

There are a lot of sites offering adult video on demand today. These sites offer various “plans” to fit your needs. If you are a frequent watcher, then you might want to look for one that offers an “all-you-can-eat” or unlimited plan. However, if you want to save a little bit more, and you only watch, say on weekends, then maybe a per-minute plan suits you better. A per-minute plan usually allows you to watch any movie, as long as you don’t go beyond the minutes you paid for.

VOD is here to stay. So you can even expect more websites to appear, as well as even more movies to be added into existing movie libraries. It is just so easy and convenient to open your web browser, visit your adult video on demand website, pick a movie you want to watch, pay, and watch that movie in a matter of minutes.

One of the Best Adult Video Websites

Wednesday, March 5th, 2008

When it comes to adult video, true porn enthusiasts don’t waste their time with FREE membership programs or amateur porn communities; they head to the massive archives of adult videos on demand offered at PornPPV.net. With the largest collection of content anywhere Online, this is much more than an archive with the most recent releases out of all major adult video websites.

Seriously, this place has got something for everyone, and if you’ve got a serious fetish, don’t waste your time at YouPorn- spend your time enjoying youself with real, high-quality adult videos streamed directly to your computer on one of THE premier adult video websites on the Net. With over 140 distinct genres offered with three payment methods available for adult videos (on demand, rental, or download to own), this is the only source a true porn enthusiast visits for all their adult video needs.

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