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For several years, many have only whispered about the man that’s known as the world’s best sex video thief. His exploits at acquiring sex tapes and the like are nothing but legendary. If there is a porn video in existence that he wanted to get his hands on, there is no force on Earth that could stop him from his goal. He is the best at what he does.

A few days ago, however, a tape surfaced among the Illuminati who were familiar with the man’s work. The tape featured, for the first time, the legendary thief’s face and a very special announcement. The thief revealed his true identity, Ignacio, and declared that he will be retiring from the craft that had made him such a famous, or infamous, figure.

Many pondered if this is truly the end of this legend. There are hundreds of questions and rumors that are circulating around porn collectors. A great contingent of these collectors believe the tape is nothing but a hoax. This is nothing more than some punk looking to grab on to fifteen minutes of fame. Others, however, are not so skeptical. Many wonder if he had passed on his skills and gifts to a young protégé, if there was someone out there.

Even Ignacio himself did not offer any reason for retiring, nor any explanation behind his decision to reveal his identity now. It is the lack of these explanations that raise the collective eyebrows of the skeptics. One of the many popular theories that are circulating is that the man on the tape is being framed by the true Ignacio himself, as the identity of the man on the video has not been verified as of yet.

Whether or not Ignacio is the genuine article, and whether or not the general consensus of the people still cannot agree on the validity of the video, everyone has expressed an enormous amount of respect for the man and the legacy he left. He truly was the best porn video thief to have ever walked the earth, and despite his despicable craft, the utter excellence he displayed in carrying out his tasks have been nothing but purely artistic.

The Buzzkills is an up and coming British band who made a splash in a rather unorthodox amateur adult video. What the band’s manager, a guy named Ron, would like to clarify to anyone who would listen is that the band’s participation was not sexual in nature. At least, not in the traditionally sexual way that many people have made the mistake of assuming. The band’s participation was actually done out of a touching request from a loving husband.

It was reported that there was a couple who loved music so much and enjoyed The Buzzkills’ brand of punk rock chaos. The Buzzkills, based from a sleepy town in England, are regular performers in a local pub wherein the couple would enjoy a few pints before retreating to their home and making love. Its been a habit for this couple to make videos of themselves while having sex, and it has been a practice that they’ve never tired been tired of. The husband, with their anniversary fast approaching, decided to do something particularly special and different for his beloved. Thus was The Buzzkills hardly memorable debut in the world of poorly shot sex tapes.

The band played an average rendition of Billy idol’s Right Round” as the couple work on each other like two animals that were starved for days. The original plan was that the band would play all throughout the love making session. The band, however, only managed to performed a few lines before the whole fiasco was over. The couple still remained satisfied, while the band did not know how what to make of the whole experience. There manage, Ron, was used to even odder requests in his career as a small time talent agent that not even this particular ventured shocked him.

“A gig is a gig” declared the short balding man of a manager. “Not oly did I make my boys earn a semi-decent paycheck but it also provided them with much deserved publicity. Especially now that the video has somehow been leaked all over the Internet. Of course, they never got to sing their own material, and they didn’t even get to finish the song they were singing, but still. Air time is air time, right? Maybe we could even make this their gimmick, you know? Thee band that plays wile you have sex. Now that’s a real buzzkill.”

Currently, the band is reportedly contemplating looking for new representation.