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For several years, many have only whispered about the man that’s known as the world’s best sex video thief. His exploits at acquiring sex tapes and the like are nothing but legendary. If there is a porn video in existence that he wanted to get his hands on, there is no force on Earth that could stop him from his goal. He is the best at what he does.

A few days ago, however, a tape surfaced among the Illuminati who were familiar with the man’s work. The tape featured, for the first time, the legendary thief’s face and a very special announcement. The thief revealed his true identity, Ignacio, and declared that he will be retiring from the craft that had made him such a famous, or infamous, figure.

Many pondered if this is truly the end of this legend. There are hundreds of questions and rumors that are circulating around porn collectors. A great contingent of these collectors believe the tape is nothing but a hoax. This is nothing more than some punk looking to grab on to fifteen minutes of fame. Others, however, are not so skeptical. Many wonder if he had passed on his skills and gifts to a young protégé, if there was someone out there.

Even Ignacio himself did not offer any reason for retiring, nor any explanation behind his decision to reveal his identity now. It is the lack of these explanations that raise the collective eyebrows of the skeptics. One of the many popular theories that are circulating is that the man on the tape is being framed by the true Ignacio himself, as the identity of the man on the video has not been verified as of yet.

Whether or not Ignacio is the genuine article, and whether or not the general consensus of the people still cannot agree on the validity of the video, everyone has expressed an enormous amount of respect for the man and the legacy he left. He truly was the best porn video thief to have ever walked the earth, and despite his despicable craft, the utter excellence he displayed in carrying out his tasks have been nothing but purely artistic.

While it is a generally accepted fact that people watch porn for the sex scenes, there is something that distinguishes which videos are distinctly better than the other. An anonymous porn expert declared that the secret to the best sex videos not just lie in the sex scenes and performers, but actually in how interesting the dialogue is. Such a statement has then evolved into a frequently discussed topic, and up until now, the debate rages on.

“It does have some bearing to it” said media analyst Charles Wang. “While visual stimuli do carry most of the impact to the recipient, it is the auditory stimuli that stick to one’s mind. That is why pop songs tend to get stuck in a person’s head regardless of an individual’s musical preference. And theaters and home theater system always boast superior sound systems as their selling point. It is what we hear that completes the experience, otherwise it would no longer be an audiovisual medium. Would you, in all honesty, enjoy a soundless porn movie? It’s doubtful. I know I won’t.”

Despite not being known for a medium with a glaring affinity for the written word, the porn medium does manage to come out with dialogue that is sufficient to achieve its intended purpose. “”Notice how every one has a favorite movie quote?” asked fight choreographer and film buff Enrique San Juan. “Dialogue from movies, porn or not, is exactly what you want to say whenever you’re faced in the situation. If I’m ever put in a typical porn situation, I can only hope that what comes out of my mouth is half as cool as what the actors say.”

If this is true, then how come no one can ever remember a line from any porn movie when asked to recite one? This is the main question that is raised by those who oppose this stand. These “purists” as they prefer to be called are against the new mentality of porn being described in the same breath as mainstream movies.

Whether or not dialogue is a truly pivotal aspect in the quality of adult videos, the fact that it is heavily discussed bodes well for the entire industry. With ideas such as these brewing, future generations can rest assured with the knowledge that the creative blood of porn will continue to flow.

Many people admire the Japanese as a nation and as a people due to their countless contributions to the world. From their impeccable technology to the cultural landmarks such as the samurai, the Japanese have always been regarded as consistently being at the top of the proverbial global class. But one thing that truly sets Japan head and shoulders above the global competition is the undeniable quality of their porn. Truly, Japan has the best porn videos.

Their very presence in the porn industry has been nothing but years upon years of utter impact, changing the landscape of porn forever. From school girls with the short skirts to big, hulking men with tentacle penises, Japanese porn has taken sex movies into a whole new level. Should we expect little from the country that produced a certain Akira Kurosawa?

The term “bukkake” is obviously of Japanese descent, and it is a clear reflection of how bold the Japanese truly are, slinging their sperm towards unsuspecting female pedestrians or having a willing female take gallons, it seems, of sperm over her pretty face. Hentai has become so popular that it has evolved into a major part of geek culture, with its amazing animation, imaginative sex scenes and of course, out of the box storytelling.

Japanese porn is also lauded for their uber realistic depiction of rape and gang rape. The use of petite women and the image of having said women be taken by force by a number of healthy young men is the ultimate commentary of a male dominated nation such as Japan. In fact, there are fewer Japanese porn videos that feature the female lead as the sexual aggressor than otherwise.

When it comes to weird, Japanese porn not only crosses it, but does cartwheels all over the other side of the line. From the very perverse exhibitionist train sex videos, to the rampant use of sex toys, Japanese porn shows exactly the sort of repressed sexuality an entire nation possesses. No other nation has produced porn so influential that it is copied by every other porn producing country in the world. It is hard to watch a porn video these days that goes on without the least bit of Japanese influence.

Japanese porn is the ultimate outlet for those who has ever wanted to explore the most taboo, and Japanese porn indeed is the best in the world. If the nation of Japan truly has anything to be proud of, and they do, it is their unsung hero. The medium of pornography. Thank you Japan for some of the truly best sex videos!

WESTENRA, IL – Sixty-five year old Hannah Swanstein was so fed up being the crotchety old grandmother that she decided to turn things around and do her version of a best sex video. Swanstein is a retired bookkeeper and now lives in Sunshine Hill Nursing Home. The notion started when she saw one of the orderlies drop a girlie magazine in her room. After scanning its pages, she was repulsed by the lack of grace the models displayed in these pages, and thought she could do far better.

As time wore on, the idea grew and grew until Swanstein began experimenting. The former natural redhead sneaked back into her room on lunch breaks and began recording sexual acts in front of a digital camera her daughter bought for her as a birthday present. She first started by stripping in front of the camera. Using her skills as a showgirl during her youth, she was surprised how she looked like a mature version of Betty Page in the video. Emboldened by the images she made, she proceeded from posing nude to using a lubed cucumber as a dildo.

By that time, she had anonymously began posting her videos on adult tube sites. Her effort paid off when her videos were the most popular and highly regarded in the site. Vivid Entertainment, a leading adult entertainment company was so impressed by her, she was asked to do cameos in bestselling adult movies “Cougars In Heat XXVI” and “Grandma Wants It In The Rear 8″.

And all this time, no one in the nursing home knew her stint in the adult industry. Swanstein recently confessed her double life to her daughter. She is also now in a legal battle on ownership of her online videos from the site owners because they had produced a collection of her videos in dvd without her permission.