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When high school senior Andy discovers that his college fund was lost during the recession, he decided to raise the money on his own. However, he knew that working in some lame summer job would not be able to support his academic needs. So he decided to make the ultimate sacrifice. He decided to sell his adult porn videos.

Andy had amassed an amazing collection of porn movies that was the envy of everyone in their sleepy little town of Shermer, Wisconsin. In fact, adult and teen males alike refer to him as “the porn guy”. A title which Andy was proud to be bestowed upon. However, with his lifelong dream of becoming a Physics major put in jeopardy by the global economic crisis, he had to improvise.

It was in a rented storage space that Andy set up shop. It took him three trips using his dad’s Impala to get all of his porn videos and his computer there. He hyped up the event as a one night only sale of all his entire porn collection. The news spread like wildfire. Set to begin at midnight, Andy was surprised to see a long line of people who had camped out patiently waiting to get first dibs. Andy opened up his makeshift store, and the people all rushed in. It was absolute madness. All night, Andy was accepting payments, making recommendations, even pitching lesser videos and making deals.

He was respected enough that no one even tried to steal from him despite the opportunities the chaos had brought. From midnight to sunrise, Andy had managed to sell every piece of his cherished collection. He set there, greeted the sunrise with coffee in hand. He counted the money that he earned. It was then that he had an epiphany. As the sunlight swept through the town of Shermer, Andy realized this true calling.

The following day, Andy had cancelled his application to the state’s top Science University and had decided to use the money to open up his own business. Andy now has his sights set on opening up his very own adult video store. “The Porn Guy’s Treasure Chest of Smutty Goodness” will be opening its first branch in March of next year.

Sometimes life makes unexpected detours into desperation before one discovers his path. Andy can not be any happier now.

A porn company with a unique production theme is going to be launched in the middle of next year. This porn production outfit promises that they will deliver high quality porn at par with their competitors, with one characteristic. This company will be producing only holiday themed adult porn videos. This production outfit is tentatively named Hallmark Porn.

Aaron Styles, head of Hallmark Porn, discusses the very concept of the production outfit. “Porn is a yearly four billion dollar business. What does that mean to us? It means that there are lots of people out there who like porn. Chances are, the person beside you right now is an avid porn viewer. So, with that in mind, what do you think is the level of probability that a person who would receive porn as a gift who like and appreciate it? Pretty high, right? That’s what we want to do here at Hallmark Porn. We want to create not only quality adult movies that all fans of the medium would enjoy, but also something festive and ideal as gifts.”

The company is now currently in production of several films. While the company is set to officially launch in the middle of next year, they are already working diligently on a Christmas themed video for this year. “Hopefully, Mrs. Claus Goes to Town would hit the video stores and the web sites before Christmas Day itself. We are also in the production stage of Auld Lang Cock, or offering for the upcoming New Year.”

Other of their projects include Teenage Trick or Treat, a Halloween special that shows naughty teenagers in hot costumes trick or treating and having sex. Naughty Easter Egg Hunt is obviously a tribute to the great tradition with a sexy twist. Plymouth Fuck is a porn tat features a very unique re-imagining of the history of Thanksgiving. This Styles reveled is Hallmark’s most ambitious project. Shot on location and with a rather sizeable budget, Plymouth Fuck will be the company’s initial crown jewel of holiday offerings.

“Our projects will not only be about the major holidays. We are going for every holiday possible. We are going to be as non-denominational as possible. In development are Kwanzaa and Hanukkah movies, and we will also be producing ones for Asian Holidays, most likely Chinese New Year. Hallmark Porn is definitely set on making an impact in the upcoming year. I personally, am very excited.”

He used to be an avid viewer of adult porn videos, but now a man in Atlanta claims to prefer watching insects to turn him on. Raymond Garcia, a 27 year old unemployed writer discovered the undeniable sensual effect insects have on him after he caught a grasshopper in his backyard. Placing the grasshopper inside a glass jar, Raymond suddenly became enchanted with the sight of the creature. He ended up staring at the grasshopper for a several seconds, and was surprised to know that he was suddenly developing an erection.

Raymond claims that the reaction was not any symptoms of dementia. “It was just the grace with which it moved, it reminded me of the fluid motions the human bodies make while fornicating.”

It was not long until Garcia completely immersed himself in this new passion, collecting bugs and encasing them in glass in one of the rooms in his two bedroom apartment. He calls this room the “erotic hive”, where he would spend a few minutes each day admiring the critters. He also did this t get him in the mood whenever he was fortunate enough to get a date to come home with him. He even considered putting some of them inside his room, but decided against it. Not many of his partners shared his passion for insects.

“I once placed a jar of centipedes by my bed during one date that was supposed to be going well. My lady friend however lost any desire after seeing it. I think she thought I was a serial killer or something, and left.” Raymond remains undaunted, however, and continues to capture and care for the insects that he finds so scintillating.

He has even tried looking for a perfect insect loving partner through online dating sites, which turned out to be another fruitless endeavor. “I really don’t get what the big deal is. These are beautiful creatures, and they fill me with nothing but thoughts of desire. Not towards the insects, of course, but the glory of the diversity of living creatures.”

Garcia’s family finds this particular new hobby of Raymond a tad unsettling, but has decided to accept it. “My son is a special boy, always has been” said his mother. “If he finds happiness in such an activity, I would support him. Right now, my primary concern is that he finds a job and straightens his life out. Other than that, I don’t particularly care if he likes insects so much.”