Enlightenment comes from many different things. Bernard, a bus driver in his mid-20s, knows this to be true. He claims to have found enlightenment in the most unexpected of things. Through hot Asian porn, Bernard believes he has acquired a wisdom that cannot be matched.
For Bernard, everything started out innocently. Or at least, as innocent as one seeking porn to relieve one’s self of certain urges could be. So searching through the Internet, Bernard stumbled upon a website that on the surface seemed like a garden variety porn streaming site. When he started viewing the videos however, something clicked in his mind. Bernard then started watching one Asian porn video after the other without even feeling the least bit aroused. He was a captive audience to these videos. He saw something that he had never seen before. He saw the answers to all of life’s questions.
Bernard went out the following day to rent as many Asian porn videos as he could. Ignoring the dirty looks he was getting on the street, he walked hurriedly back to his apartment to watch. He even called in sick from work. For an entire day, Bernard immersed himself in Asian porn. He claims that he had been changed forever. He immediately shaved his head and spent countless hours lost in deep meditation. He had also quit his job and after a few months of preaching on the streets, have gone into writing and teaching.
“Many people would scoff when I tell them the tale” said the reformed Bernard. “No, I am not perverting any of the existing faiths. I just found that shaving my head very therapeutic. I had to shed signs of my troubled past, and my hair was a direct symbol of that. The hair that I now have is the hair I’ve always had since discovering my new path.”
But what exactly did he learn from the sex videos of the East? “I noticed a certain level of peace, and applied it to my self. The tranquility of a diverse universe. The sadness of earthly pursuits. The isolation of greed. All that are present in most Asian porn videos, if you would look at it in a particular way.”
Bernard has had his name changed to Divine Swallow, and amassed a vast library of porn videos. These videos he uses during his preaching sessions in his nearly empty apartment.
